Funerals

Two deaths is a week and a few hours.  Two funerals in a week and a day.  I am tired, yet I am not the one who cared for the dying family members - my aunts and uncles must be exhausted.

I have learned a few things though, for helping others in their time of need and what I want at my own funeral:

Fruit baskets, while lovely, healthy, and useful, are a lot of fruit.

Shepherd’s Pie is the most common dish to bring to families.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate and thank the people who made dishes...but Shepherd’s Pie three days in a row from different people?  Probably the number one reason I will always make something else for families in need.

Organ music, while nice, is NOT the instrument that I want to be played at my funeral.  Way too wheezy and depressing.

Pictures hanging up on magnetic boards produces a lot more memories, talk, and laughter than pictures on a slide show.

A wake should not be done at the church - or at the very least, not in the sanctuary.

I’d like my funeral to be more about the lives I’ve impacted, than about my accomplishments.

I am truly impressed at how one side of my family rallied around my grandmother while she was dying (though the infighting by certain spouses after the death is really trying).  I wish my grandfather’s death had inspired the same amount of rallying on that side of the family...though I don’t think they will have as much infighting about personal possessions.

The out pouring of prayers, thoughts, meals, deeds, special music, feeding my dogs, and offers of help, from family, friends, co-workers is truly inspiring.  I had no idea people could be so kind.

But now, as the busyness of getting ready for death is done, and the bodies buried, and the traveling done; now I think is the time for my grief to rise.

You will be greatly missed Grandma, especially by your children since you were the last remaining parent.

You will be greatly missed Grandpa, especially by the wife you left behind and the amazing legacy of marriage that was built on love and mutual respect.