To my True Love:
Thanks for the pear tree and partridge, but the pear tree froze since I was at work when it was delivered to my house...and the partridge, I’m not sure where it’s at (or at least the packing slip said something about a partridge).
To my True Love:
Seriously, two turtle doves? How’d you get them out of England? I’m afraid the cats will eat them since the birds feed in the open instead of in the woods.
I’m sorry my Love, the dogs ate the three chickens. Thankfully no vet visits for removal of chicken bones.
To my Love:
It took me a minute to figure out what the four black birds are. They do sing very prettily, but I’m off to the pet store for cages. Hopefully Odin won’t open Lori’s door before then...
Thank you for the five golden rings my True Love! (Something almost useful!)
Six geese. Is it extremely ungrateful to say that I don’t like geese? They killed the nice stray black cat, are leaving fecal matter everywhere, and keep taunting the dogs. At least four of the geese were stupid enough to wander into the neighbor’s oven!
The seven swans turned out to be seven maidens that had been drowned by seven jealous sisters - then the seven swans turned into seven harps. The harps are listed on Craigs List in hopes that a harpist will play the harps in the drowned maidens fathers Hall. Well, my True Love, this is one interesting gift, straight out of Irish lore!
Milking maids. Eight milking maids. My brothers thank you.
Again, my brothers thank you for the nine dancing ladies.
Um, what am I to do with the leaping lords that wear bells? Especially ten of them - they hardly fit into the house. And their wild dancing is actually breaking furniture.
To my True Love:
I like the eleven pipers playing the bagpipes! Not so sure that the neighbors or the dogs do, but I like the pipers!
The drummers and the bagpipers are competing and I’ve lost the aspirin bottle. I’m so happy that that by tomorrow they will all be gone.
True Love, can we just exchange smaller gifts next year?
